Friday, July 22, 2005

Dont Step on a Duck!

Three women died together in an accident and went to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter said, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't Step On The Ducks."

So they entered heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on very tall, tanned and muscular. St. Peter chains them together and leaves without
saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Cyber Psalm 23

The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash.
He installed his software on the hard disk of my heart;
all of His commands are user-friendly.

His directory guides me to the right choices for His name’s sake.
Even though I scroll through the problems of life,
I will fear no bugs, for He is my backup.

His password protects me.
He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies. His help is only a keystroke away.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,and my file will be merged with His and saved forever.

Amen.
---------
tnx sir dtheon

Monday, July 18, 2005

Men and Women Really Do Think Differently

I found this on the net:

New research into how the brain controls movement reveals a location of thoughts that determine what you will do.

Don't worry, the scientists can't read your most fantastic or lurid imaginings. What the Caltech researchers can do is spot the flicker of activity that occurs while you contemplate moving your hand.

The research is expected to improve efforts to build neural prostheses, devices that link a paralyzed person's mind to an external device with the help of brain electrodes and a computer.

Read more.

Friday, July 15, 2005

THE SHADOW CABINET

may nag-forward nito sa akin sa email. he he! ang galing!

ECONOMIC TEAM - Susan's thrust will be to achieve an ECONOMIC MIRACLE that the country missed in the 80's and 90's. Nobody is better equipped in making this MIRACLE hapPen than Nora Aunor (Himala). As NEDA Secretary, Sec. Aunor will not draw water from brooks of Kupang (Place of Himala), but would make miracles happen by encouraging people to believe in themselves. According to the future NEDA chief. "Tayo ang gumagawa ng Himala" She will be assisted by Underscretary Madame Auring to guide the government in taking the miraculous path.

Sec. Aunor will be supported by Sec. Pepe Pimentel (Finance) and Sec. Roderick Paulate (Budget and Management). As Finance chief, Sec. Pimentel is well aware of where the "Kwarta" is. And no matter how small revenue collection will be, the public purse will be efficiently handled and kept by Budget Secretary Paulate in his "Bayong" with Undersecretary Amy Perez.
Finally, the Team is completed by Trade and Industry by the tandem of Sec. Mura and Undersecretary Mahal to make sure that the basic commodities are priced right, neither expensive (Mahal) nor cheap (Mura).

SERVICES TEAM - True to his populist color, Susan will give more to those who have less in life. Being allied with the GMA administration, MMDA Chair Bayani Fernando will be replaced by another Bayani, New MMDA Chair Bayani Agbayani. As such he will scrap the Odd-Even scheme and implement a simpler "Ocho-Ocho" traffic program, i.e., no cars in Edsa from 8am to 8pm.

Agriculture Department will (!) be headed by Sec. Vilma Santos to ensure that food supply will be bountiful in all seasons in all regions.

Housing, being the cornerstone of the Susan Roces Administration, will be given to an equally regal and competent person, HLURB Secretary Dolphy. As such, he will ensure that the masses get their deserved homes either along the riles (railroads) or airports. The middle class on the other hand will be helped by Undersecretary Nova Villa.

The National Youth Commission will be headed by German Moreno so that he can help develop the talents of the millions of Filipino Youth. He will be assisted by Commissioners-At-Large Jojo Veloso and Alfie Lorenzo.

Social Welfare portfolio will be given to no less than Sec. Willie Revillame. He will lEave his show to prepare for government service. To fund the welfare programs, the young Lucky Manzano will be appointed to the PCSO and PAGCOR.

Finally, the Department of Health will be headed by Dr. Vicky Belo. The projects in line are as follows: Oplan Alis Skin Disease, Tangal taba, and Libreng Lipo sa Masa.

RESOURCES TEAM - Susan Roce's policy is the full development of our resources for the benefit of the people. Department of Energy will be headed by Sec. Gary Valenciano. No more PPA, just pure energy.

The Environment portfolio will be given to Sec. Chin-Chin Gutierrez and supported by Bureau of Forestry Director Rico J. Puno, Mines and Geosciences Directress Gretchen Barreto, and Undersecretary Jimmy Bondoc.

DEFENSE AND LAW AND ORDER TEAM - Considering the lack of respect the citizens have for the law of the law, Susan will implement the policy of law without fear or favor.

The Defense Department will be given to Sec. Annabel Rama who is feared by the devil himself. If she can handle Ernie Maceda, why not the generals of the AFP. If she can defend Ruffa's integrity despite all her shenanigans, what more the integrity of the national territory.
The Department of Interior will be headed by another fighter, Sec. Mystica who is well aware of the workings of the police after figuring in weekly brawls ever since she entered showbiz. She will be assited by PNP Chief Paquito Diaz, an expert on mobs and thugs.


FOREIGN AFFAIRS TEAM - Susan will continue the current government's constructive engagement. Among the members of the nation's new foreign service are the following Ambassadors:

  • Africa Union - Susan Africa
  • Austria - Amy Austria
  • Brunei Darusalam - Cristina Gonzalez
  • Colombia - Ace Vergel
  • Germany - Baron Geisler
  • Israel - Dick Israel
  • Jordan - Jordan Herrera
  • Spain - Gerald Madrid
  • Romania - David Bunevacz
  • Russian Federation - Nanette Medved
  • Turkey - Ruffa Gutierrez-Bektas
  • United Kingdom - Princess Punzalan
  • United States - Angelica Jones


The Department of Foreign Affairs will be headed by Sec. Melanie Marquez (Miss International) who is very experienced in "international" relationships.

OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT - Lastly, to manage all the department secretaries, a function of the Executive Secretary, no less than Exec. Sec. Lily Monteverde will "manage" all of them to make sure that they work in line with government policies. If Mother Lily can manage the whole Regal Family (plus Regal Babies), what more the nation's Official Family. She will be assisted by Presidential Management Staff Sec. Lolit Solis, another "talent" manager. To complete the roster of palace officials, the residential Spokesperson's job will be given not to Boy Abunda nor Cristy Fermin as other have speculated, but to the reliable Sec. Rey Pumaloy (Aminin!) to ensure that the government will not hide anything from the public.

Kay SUSAN tayo !!!!

i know somebody who will say "katawa-tawa!"

Thursday, July 14, 2005

THE SHOE

My alarm went off...
It was Sunday again.
I was sleepy and tired,
My one day to sleep in.

But the guilt I would feel
So I'd go and I'd pray.
I got there and sat
In a pew just in time.

Bowing my head in prayer
As I closed my eyes,
I saw the shoe of the man next to me
Touching my own. I sighed.

With plenty of room on either side,
I thought, "Why must our soles touch?"
It bothered me, his shoe touching mine,
But it didn't bother him much.

A prayer began: "Our Father"
I thought, "This man with the shoes has no pride.
They're dusty, worn, and scratched
Even worse, there are holes on the side!"

Thank You for blessings," the prayer went on.
The shoe man said a quiet "Amen."
I tried to focus on the prayer,
But my thoughts were on his shoes again.

Aren't we supposed to look our best
When walking through that door?
Well, this certainly isn't it," I thought,
Glancing toward the floor.

Then the prayer was ended
And the songs of praise began.
The shoe man was certainly loud,
Sounding proud as he sang.

His voice lifted the rafters,
His hands were raised high,
The Lord could surely hear
The shoe man's voice from the sky.

It was time for the offering
And what I threw in was steep.
I watched as the shoe man reached
Into his pockets so deep.

I saw what was pulled out,
What the shoe man put in,
Then I heard a soft "clink"
As when silver hits tin...

The sermon really bored me
To tears, and that's no lie
It was the same for the shoe man,
For tears fell from his eyes.

At the end of the service,
As is the custom here,
We must greet new visitors
And show them all good cheer.

But I felt moved somehow
And wanted to meet shoe man
So after the closing prayer,
I reached over and shook his hand.

He was old and his skin wa s dark,
And his hair was truly a mess
But I thanked him for coming,
For being our guest.

He said, "My names' Charlie,
I'm glad to meet you, my friend."
There were tears in his eyes
But he had a large, wide grin

Let me explain," he said
Wiping tears from his eyes.
I've been coming here for months,
And you're the first to say 'Hi.'"

I know that my appearance
Is not like all the rest,
But I really do try
To always look my best."

I always clean and polish my shoes
Before my very long walk
But by the time I get here,
They're dirty and dusty, like chalk."

My heart filled with pain and
I swallowed to hide my tears
As he continued to apologize
For daring to sit so near.

He said, "When I get here,
I know I must look a sight.
But I thought if I could touch you,
Then maybe our souls might unite."

I was silent for a moment
Knowing whatever was said
Would pale in comparison.
I spoke from my heart, not my head

Oh, you've touched me," I said,
And taught me, in part,
That the best of any man
Is what is found in his heart."

The rest, I thought,
This shoe man will never know. .
Like just how thankful I really am
That his dirty old shoe touched my soul...

You might be best friends one year,
pretty good friends the next year,
don't talk that often the next year,
don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say,
even if I never talk to you again in my life,
you are special to me and
you have made a difference in my life.

Someday you might feel like you have no friends at all.
Just remember this blog and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will.
May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that care.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Spanish Computer

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

A student asked, ''What gender is 'computer'?''

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ''computer'' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the feminine gender (''la computer''), because:

  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
  2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
  3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
  4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself pending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(No chuckling... this gets better!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (''el computer''), because:

  1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
  2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
  3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
  4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

i think he has a point

THE ONLY HOPE FOR THE PHILIPPINES
by Father James Reuter, S.J.

By her own admission, GMA rightfully assessed that "over the last decades,our republic has become one of the weakest, steadily left behind by its more progressive neighbors." Forty years ago, we were only second to Japan in economic stature, and way ahead of Singapore, Hongkong, Malaysia, and Thailand.

Today, at our present growth rate, it will take us 30 years to get to where Thailand is today.
  1. A population of 160 Million;
  2. Of those, 70 to 90 million (equivalent to our current population) will live below the poverty line;
  3. Our national debt is estimated to be at US$200B (compared to US$28B when Marcos fled, and US$53B today);
  4. We will be competing, not against Thailand or even Vietnam, but against Bangladesh;
  5. We will be the most corrupt nation in Asia, if not in the world (we're already ranked 11th most corrupt nation by Transparency International).

The signs are clear. Our nation is headed towards an irreversible path of economic decline and moral decadence. It is not for lack of effort. We've seen many men and women of integrity in and out of government, NGOs, church groups & people's organization devote themselves to the task of nation-building, often times against insurmountable odds. But not even two people's revolutions, bloodless as they may be, have made a dent in reversing this trend. At best, we have moved one step forward, but three steps backward.

We need a force far greater than our collective efforts, as a people, can ever hope to muster. It is
time to move the battle to the spiritual realm. It's time to claim GOD's promise of healing of the land for His people.

It's time to gather GOD's people on its knees to pray for the economic recovery and moral reformation of our nation. Is prayer really the answer? Before you dismiss this as just another rambling of a religious fanatic, I'd like you to consider some lessons we can glean from history. England's ascendancy to world power was preceded by the Reformation, a spiritual
revival fuelled by intense prayers. The early American settlers built the foundation that would make it the most powerful nation today - a strong faith in GOD and a disciplined prayer life. Throughout its history, and especially at its major turning points, waves of revival and prayer movement swept across the land.

In recent times, we see Korea as a nation experiencing revival and in the process producing the largest Christian church in the world today, led by Rev. Paul Yongi Cho. No wonder it has emerged as a strong nation when other economies around it are faltering. Even from a purely secular viewpoint, it makes a lot of sense. For here there is genuine humbling and seeking
of GOD through prayer, moral reformation necessarilyfollows.

And this, in turn, will lead to general prosperity.

YES, we believe prayer can make a difference. It's our only hope.

We have tried people power twice; in both cases, it fell short. Maybe it's time to try prayer power. GOD never fails. Is there hope? YES! We can rely on GOD's promise, but we have to do our part. If we humble ourselves and pray as a people, GOD will heal our land. By GOD's grace, we may yet see a better future for our children.

GOD bless and GOD save our country!

"If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven, and will forgive their sins, and will heal their land." (2 Chronicles 7:14)

Friday, July 08, 2005

TGIF

thanks god, it's friday!! he he! uwian na naman mamaya.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

nakakainip!

pagkatapos ng mahabang oras ng trabaho sa harap ng kompyuter, heto ako, naghahanap ng mapaglilibangan. (sa kompyuter pa rin. putcha naman kaseng cable e. pinutulan ba naman kami). di ko tuloy mapanooran yung binili naming malaking TV.

kaya heto, kundi sa MSN Games e sa Yahoo! Games ako nagbababad. nakakaaliw din naman, kaya lang walang masyadong variation. nakakatuwa sa MSN Games, merong mga badge na iniaaward sayo depende sa galing mo. he he! andami ko nang badges. pero marami pa ring mas magaling. kakainis!