Saturday, December 03, 2005

Pain

Neque porro quisquam est qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit...

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The Past

by: Ray Parker Jr.

I was wrong when I hurt you
But did you have to hurt me too
Did you think revenge will make it better?
I don't care about the past
I just want our love to last
There's a way to bring us back together

[Chorus:]
I must forgive you
You must forgive me
If you wanna try to put things back the way they used to be
'Cause there's no sense in going over and over
The same things as before
So let's not bring the past back anymore

Out of all the good we had
You only keep track of the bad
Though you knew I never really loved her
Didn't anyone tell you yet
That to forgive is to forget
How can you be mad if you don't remember

[Chorus:]
I must forgive you
You must forgive me too
If you wanna try to put things back the way they used to be
'Cause there's no sense in going over and over
The same things as before
So let's not bring the past back anymore
I must forgive you
And you must forgive me too

It's the only thing that's left that we haven't try to do
One thing I'm sure will work
That we haven't tried before
Let's not bring the past back anymore

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Corporate Lessons

  • Corporate Lesson #1
  • A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
    When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
    "It was Bob the next door neighbor", she replies.
    "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

    Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


  • Corporate Lesson #2

  • A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

    The priest nearly had an accident.

    After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

    The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.

    But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized, "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

    Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

    It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

    Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


  • Corporate Lesson #3

  • A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

    They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

    "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

    "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

    "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

    Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

  • Corporate Lesson #4

  • A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

    A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

    The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.


  • Corporate Lesson #5

  • A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

    "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

    The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

    Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

    Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

    Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

God's Cake

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?"

 

Here is a wonderful explanation!

 

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing Algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

 

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

 

Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.

 

"Yuck!", says her daughter.

 

"How about a couple raw eggs?"

 

"Gross, Mom!"

 

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"

 

"Mom, those are all yucky!"

 

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!”

 

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times.

But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good!

We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

 

God is crazy about you.

 

He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.

He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

 

I hope your day is a "piece of cake!"

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

 

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

A Beautiful Song. A Sad Story

LUCILLE
Kenny Rogers
42 Ultimate Hits CD1 Track #7

In a bar in toledo across from the depot
On a barstool she took off her ring
I thought I’d get closer, so I walked on over
I sat down and asked her name

When the drink finally hit her, she said I’m no quitter
But I finally quit living on dreams
I’m hungry for laughter, and here ever after
I’m after whatever the other life brings

In the mirror I saw him, and I closely watch him
I thought how he looked out of place
He came to the womanWho sat there beside me
He had a strange look on his face
The big hands are calloused, he looked like a mountain
For a minute I thought I was dead

But he started shaking, his big heart was breaking
He turned to the woman and said:

"You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille
Four hungry children and a crop in the field
I’ve had some bad time, Live thru’ some sad times
But this time your hurtin wouldn’t heal
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille."

After he left us, I ordered more whiskey
I thought how she made him look small
From lights of the bar room to a rented hotel room
We walked without talking at all

She was a beauty, but when she came to me
She must have thought I lost my mind
I couldn’t hold her, the words that he told her
Kept coming back time after time.

"You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille
Four hungry children and a crop in the field
I’ve had some bad time, Live thru’ some sad times
But this time your hurtin' wouldn’t heal.
You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille

You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille
Four hungry children and a crop in the field
I’ve had some bad time, Live thru’ some sad times
But this time your hurtin wouldn’t heal.
You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille"

Friday, October 14, 2005

narraSofties Latest Picture


yeah. its been a while since we last did this. :-) look, we've added new people!

front: michael, me
sitting: alwin and exe
standing: lia, oliver, jhen, gerros, lyrio, maynard

if i may add: it is jhen's birthday today.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Do GOD Exist?

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about so many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they touched the subject of God. The barber said :

"Look man, I don't believe that God exists as you say so."

"Why do you say that?" Asked the client.

"Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Oh, tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain. I can't think of a God who permits all of these things."

The client stopped for a moment thinking but he didn't want to respond so as to prevent an argument.

The barber finished his job and the client went out of the shop. Just after he left the barber shop he saw a man in the street with a long hair and beard (it seems that it had been a long time since he had his cut and he looked so untidy). Then the client again entered the barber shop and he said to the barber:

"Know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How come they don't exist?" asked the barber.

"Well I am here and I am a barber."

"Noo!" the client exclaimed. "They don't exist because if they did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who walks in the street."

"Ah, barbers do exist, what happens is that people do not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the client. "That's the point. God does exist, what happens is people don't go to Him and do not look for Him that's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Parable Of The Spoons (A Beautiful Story)

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."  The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "
You have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "
I don't understand."

It is simple" said the Lord, "it requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. While the greedy think only of themselves.”

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

BSICS Batch 1997

Sa mga kaklase ko sa Lyceum of Batangas sa BSICS noong 1997, kumusta na kayo? Kung makikita nyo itong post na ito, kontakin nyo naman ako. Tara magplano ng reunion. O kung may alam kayong reunion, isama nyo naman ako. :-)

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Dream Come True

As I wait at the end of the aisle, there she comes, with the beautiful flowing white dress. My bestfriend for three years is now walking the aisle to exchange vows with me.

Today, I married my bestfriend.

Friday, September 09, 2005

The Wiccan Rede

Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust. Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.

For tread the Circle thrice about to keep unwelcome spirits out. To bind the spell well every time, let the spell be said in rhyme.

Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little, listen much. Honor the Old Ones in deed and name, let love and light be our guides again.

Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the joyful tune. Widdershins go when the moon doth wane, and the werewolf howls by the dread wolfsbane.

When the Lady's moon is new, kiss the hand to Her times two. When the moon rides at Her peak then your heart's desire seek.

Heed the North winds mighty gale, lock the door and trim the sail. When the Wind blows from the East, expect the new and set the feast.

When the wind comes from the South, love will kiss you on the mouth. When the wind whispers from the West, all hearts will find peace and rest.

Nine woods in the Cauldron go, burn them fast and burn them slow. Birch in the fire goes to represent what the Lady knows.

Oak in the forest towers with might, in the fire it brings the God's insight. Rowan is a tree of power causing life and magick to flower.

Willows at the waterside stand ready to help us to the Summerland. Hawthorn is burned to purify and to draw faerie to your eye.

Hazel-the tree of wisdom and learning adds its strength to the bright fire burning. White are the flowers of Apple tree that brings us fruits of fertility.

Grapes grow upon the vine giving us both joy and wine. Fir does mark the evergreen to represent immortality seen.

Elder is the Lady's tree burn it not or cursed you'll be. Four times the Major Sabbats mark in the light and in the dark.

As the old year starts to wane the new begins, it's now Samhain. When the time for Imbolc shows watch for flowers through the snows.

When the wheel begins to turn soon the Beltane fires will burn. As the wheel turns to Lamas night power is brought to magick rite.

Four times the Minor Sabbats fall use the Sun to mark them all. When the wheel has turned to Yule light the log the Horned One rules.

In the spring, when night equals day time for Ostara to come our way. When the Sun has reached it's height time for Oak and Holly to fight.

Harvesting comes to one and all when the Autumn Equinox does fall. Heed the flower, bush, and tree by the Lady blessed you'll be.

Where the rippling waters go cast a stone, the truth you'll know. When you have and hold a need, harken not to others greed.

With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend. Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.

Mind the Three-fold Laws you should three times bad and three times good. When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.

Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.

These Eight words the Rede fulfill: An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will

Monday, August 29, 2005

UNFOLD THE ROSE

A young, new preacher was walking with an older, more seasoned preacher in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do, he was asking the older preacher for some advice. The older preacher walked up to a rose bush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing any of the petals. The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry. But, because of his great respect for the older preacher, he proceeded to try and unfold the rosebud while keeping every petal intact. It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do. Noticing the young preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite the following poem:


It is only a tiny rosebud
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so sweetly,
Then, in my hands, they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
The flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?

So, I'll trust in Him for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Him for His guidance
Each step of the Pilgrim's way

The pathway that lies before me
Only my Heavenly Father knows.
I'll trust him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them. Send this message to the people you will never forget, and remember to send it also to the person who sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in too much of a hurry. Take the time to LIVE! Distance and time may separate us, but friendship and memories won't.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Through a Rapist's Eyes

This is important information for females of ALL ages.

Guys - please forward to the female members of your family and all your female friends and associates. When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. Well, I guess it would be better to put it in a blog for others to see.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
  1. The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
  2. The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
  3. They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
  4. Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.
  5. The Number One place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number Two is office parking lots/garages. Number Three is public restrooms.
  6. The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
  7. Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
  8. If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming
  9. These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
  10. Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.
  11. If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
  12. If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER spray and holding it out will be a deterrent.
  13. If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches.Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.
  14. After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
  15. When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
  16. Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!! You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble

PLEASE READ THEN TELL YOUR LADY FRIENDS. IT'S SIMPLE STUFF BUT IT COULD SAVE HER LIFE.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Regular Expression

A few notes for my regex needs.
==========================================
^ Start of String
$ End of string
\ Escape the next character; interpret it literally
n* Zero or more of 'n'
n+ One or more of 'n'
n? A possible 'n'
n{2} Exactly two of 'n'
n{2,} At least 2 or more of 'n'
n{2,4} From 2 to 4 of 'n'
() Parenthesis to group substrings
(na) Either 'n' or 'a'
. Any single character
[1-6] A number between 1 and 6
[c-h] A lower case character between c and h
[D-M] An upper case character between D and M
[^a-z] Absence of lower case a to z
[_a-zA-Z] An underscore or any letter of the alpha

Monday, August 15, 2005

Creepy Lincoln-Kennedy HISTORY

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was bornin 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was bornin 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat !

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was inMonroe,Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ranto a theater.

Creepy, huh? Tell this to as many people as you can, because:

Hey, this is one history lesson people don't mind reading!!!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

COW Economics

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS. You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.You retire on the income.

CHINESE ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

INDIAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows.You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS. You don't have any cows.You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.You ask the US for financial aid, China for militaryaid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines,Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japanfor equipment.You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce themilk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind. You wage war to save the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS. You have two cows. They are both mad.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS. You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth thesize of an ordinary cow and produce twenty timesthe milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called COWKIMON and market them worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle ofvodka.

MALAYSIAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You slaughter one for Hari Raya Puasa and theother for Hari Raya Haji. Just before that, both the cows were wandering along the PLUS Highways.

PHILIPPINE ECONOMICS. You have only one cow. So the government claims there is a shortage ofcows. The government ask grants from other countries sothe country can produce more cows. The other countries oblige. The government divides the grants amongthemselves, and blames the opposition of corruption. The people stage People Power 42. The government is overthrown. Then its back to the single cow.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

10 Things He's Afraid to Hear You Say

There are certain things a man never wants to hear from his lady. "Let's go shopping" is one of them, as those words usually herald a whole afternoon wasted near the women's fitting rooms. "You're acting like your father" is another, much harsher statement. Even worse, "You're acting like my father"; that one just hurts. Below, however, are the most fearsome, most harrowing combinations of words a female can utter.

  1. I've been thinking...
  2. Be a man.
    Nothing is quite as injurious as having your very manhood questioned. You could give in to her shame tactics and do what she wants, or deflect it by saying, "How about you be a woman and quit nagging?"
  3. My parents want to meet you.
    This means two things:
    The relationship has crossed an important milestone of seriousness.
    You're about to be psychologically cavity-searched under the family microscope.All you can do is hope her father doesn't mention that he has some rusty wire cutters he wants to put to use.
  4. I have a headache.
    That means no action for you tonight, buddy. But you can beat her to it. If you sense she's particularly tired when you're horny, give her an unsolicited aspirin and hope for the best.
  5. That's not the way my ex did it.
    You never talk about your ex in front of her. So you obviously weren't prepared for this. Now you're being measured against the man she dumped. Ouch. Defend yourself, quickly.
  6. What are you thinking about?
    Women are curious. They need to know your every thought, feeling, hunch and inkling. Men, on the other hand, don't like to discuss and explore everything; we're content to keep quiet.
  7. Do you find her pretty?
    She already caught you looking at that mind-blowing blonde that walked by, no matter how covert your glance. So if you say "no," she'll know you're lying and an argument will ensue. This is the time for very artful tact, such as, "Kind of, her ass is huge." Now pray.
  8. We need to talk.
    What everyone should know about these words is that no good news ever follows. These four ominous words signal a problem with the relationship. Expect a breakup, or at the very least a long talk about how you're not meeting her needs. Either way, it's not pleasant. And there is little you can do to avoid it. And though this one is a real bruiser, nothing is quite as caustic, as savage, as utterly cataclysmic as, "Do you think I'm fat?" You're on your own.
  9. My friend is pregnant/engaged.
    This seems harmless enough, until you catch that thinly veiled hint of disappointment in her voice. At this point, you know she really means, "When will we be engaged/pregnant?" Be prepared with an expert diversion at this point, such as faking a seizure. Unfortunately, nothing will help you when she comes at you with the even more chilling, "I'm pregnant." Good luck, buddy.
  10. Do you notice anything different about me?
    You know you're in trouble if you don't. And the longer you take to answer, the more frustrated she'll become, which makes you more frantic. And when you finally bellow, "Oh, you got a new haircut!" she storms out, throwing her new earrings on the floor.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Dont Step on a Duck!

Three women died together in an accident and went to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter said, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't Step On The Ducks."

So they entered heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on very tall, tanned and muscular. St. Peter chains them together and leaves without
saying a word.

The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Cyber Psalm 23

The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash.
He installed his software on the hard disk of my heart;
all of His commands are user-friendly.

His directory guides me to the right choices for His name’s sake.
Even though I scroll through the problems of life,
I will fear no bugs, for He is my backup.

His password protects me.
He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies. His help is only a keystroke away.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,and my file will be merged with His and saved forever.

Amen.
---------
tnx sir dtheon

Monday, July 18, 2005

Men and Women Really Do Think Differently

I found this on the net:

New research into how the brain controls movement reveals a location of thoughts that determine what you will do.

Don't worry, the scientists can't read your most fantastic or lurid imaginings. What the Caltech researchers can do is spot the flicker of activity that occurs while you contemplate moving your hand.

The research is expected to improve efforts to build neural prostheses, devices that link a paralyzed person's mind to an external device with the help of brain electrodes and a computer.

Read more.

Friday, July 15, 2005

THE SHADOW CABINET

may nag-forward nito sa akin sa email. he he! ang galing!

ECONOMIC TEAM - Susan's thrust will be to achieve an ECONOMIC MIRACLE that the country missed in the 80's and 90's. Nobody is better equipped in making this MIRACLE hapPen than Nora Aunor (Himala). As NEDA Secretary, Sec. Aunor will not draw water from brooks of Kupang (Place of Himala), but would make miracles happen by encouraging people to believe in themselves. According to the future NEDA chief. "Tayo ang gumagawa ng Himala" She will be assisted by Underscretary Madame Auring to guide the government in taking the miraculous path.

Sec. Aunor will be supported by Sec. Pepe Pimentel (Finance) and Sec. Roderick Paulate (Budget and Management). As Finance chief, Sec. Pimentel is well aware of where the "Kwarta" is. And no matter how small revenue collection will be, the public purse will be efficiently handled and kept by Budget Secretary Paulate in his "Bayong" with Undersecretary Amy Perez.
Finally, the Team is completed by Trade and Industry by the tandem of Sec. Mura and Undersecretary Mahal to make sure that the basic commodities are priced right, neither expensive (Mahal) nor cheap (Mura).

SERVICES TEAM - True to his populist color, Susan will give more to those who have less in life. Being allied with the GMA administration, MMDA Chair Bayani Fernando will be replaced by another Bayani, New MMDA Chair Bayani Agbayani. As such he will scrap the Odd-Even scheme and implement a simpler "Ocho-Ocho" traffic program, i.e., no cars in Edsa from 8am to 8pm.

Agriculture Department will (!) be headed by Sec. Vilma Santos to ensure that food supply will be bountiful in all seasons in all regions.

Housing, being the cornerstone of the Susan Roces Administration, will be given to an equally regal and competent person, HLURB Secretary Dolphy. As such, he will ensure that the masses get their deserved homes either along the riles (railroads) or airports. The middle class on the other hand will be helped by Undersecretary Nova Villa.

The National Youth Commission will be headed by German Moreno so that he can help develop the talents of the millions of Filipino Youth. He will be assisted by Commissioners-At-Large Jojo Veloso and Alfie Lorenzo.

Social Welfare portfolio will be given to no less than Sec. Willie Revillame. He will lEave his show to prepare for government service. To fund the welfare programs, the young Lucky Manzano will be appointed to the PCSO and PAGCOR.

Finally, the Department of Health will be headed by Dr. Vicky Belo. The projects in line are as follows: Oplan Alis Skin Disease, Tangal taba, and Libreng Lipo sa Masa.

RESOURCES TEAM - Susan Roce's policy is the full development of our resources for the benefit of the people. Department of Energy will be headed by Sec. Gary Valenciano. No more PPA, just pure energy.

The Environment portfolio will be given to Sec. Chin-Chin Gutierrez and supported by Bureau of Forestry Director Rico J. Puno, Mines and Geosciences Directress Gretchen Barreto, and Undersecretary Jimmy Bondoc.

DEFENSE AND LAW AND ORDER TEAM - Considering the lack of respect the citizens have for the law of the law, Susan will implement the policy of law without fear or favor.

The Defense Department will be given to Sec. Annabel Rama who is feared by the devil himself. If she can handle Ernie Maceda, why not the generals of the AFP. If she can defend Ruffa's integrity despite all her shenanigans, what more the integrity of the national territory.
The Department of Interior will be headed by another fighter, Sec. Mystica who is well aware of the workings of the police after figuring in weekly brawls ever since she entered showbiz. She will be assited by PNP Chief Paquito Diaz, an expert on mobs and thugs.


FOREIGN AFFAIRS TEAM - Susan will continue the current government's constructive engagement. Among the members of the nation's new foreign service are the following Ambassadors:

  • Africa Union - Susan Africa
  • Austria - Amy Austria
  • Brunei Darusalam - Cristina Gonzalez
  • Colombia - Ace Vergel
  • Germany - Baron Geisler
  • Israel - Dick Israel
  • Jordan - Jordan Herrera
  • Spain - Gerald Madrid
  • Romania - David Bunevacz
  • Russian Federation - Nanette Medved
  • Turkey - Ruffa Gutierrez-Bektas
  • United Kingdom - Princess Punzalan
  • United States - Angelica Jones


The Department of Foreign Affairs will be headed by Sec. Melanie Marquez (Miss International) who is very experienced in "international" relationships.

OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT - Lastly, to manage all the department secretaries, a function of the Executive Secretary, no less than Exec. Sec. Lily Monteverde will "manage" all of them to make sure that they work in line with government policies. If Mother Lily can manage the whole Regal Family (plus Regal Babies), what more the nation's Official Family. She will be assisted by Presidential Management Staff Sec. Lolit Solis, another "talent" manager. To complete the roster of palace officials, the residential Spokesperson's job will be given not to Boy Abunda nor Cristy Fermin as other have speculated, but to the reliable Sec. Rey Pumaloy (Aminin!) to ensure that the government will not hide anything from the public.

Kay SUSAN tayo !!!!

i know somebody who will say "katawa-tawa!"

Thursday, July 14, 2005

THE SHOE

My alarm went off...
It was Sunday again.
I was sleepy and tired,
My one day to sleep in.

But the guilt I would feel
So I'd go and I'd pray.
I got there and sat
In a pew just in time.

Bowing my head in prayer
As I closed my eyes,
I saw the shoe of the man next to me
Touching my own. I sighed.

With plenty of room on either side,
I thought, "Why must our soles touch?"
It bothered me, his shoe touching mine,
But it didn't bother him much.

A prayer began: "Our Father"
I thought, "This man with the shoes has no pride.
They're dusty, worn, and scratched
Even worse, there are holes on the side!"

Thank You for blessings," the prayer went on.
The shoe man said a quiet "Amen."
I tried to focus on the prayer,
But my thoughts were on his shoes again.

Aren't we supposed to look our best
When walking through that door?
Well, this certainly isn't it," I thought,
Glancing toward the floor.

Then the prayer was ended
And the songs of praise began.
The shoe man was certainly loud,
Sounding proud as he sang.

His voice lifted the rafters,
His hands were raised high,
The Lord could surely hear
The shoe man's voice from the sky.

It was time for the offering
And what I threw in was steep.
I watched as the shoe man reached
Into his pockets so deep.

I saw what was pulled out,
What the shoe man put in,
Then I heard a soft "clink"
As when silver hits tin...

The sermon really bored me
To tears, and that's no lie
It was the same for the shoe man,
For tears fell from his eyes.

At the end of the service,
As is the custom here,
We must greet new visitors
And show them all good cheer.

But I felt moved somehow
And wanted to meet shoe man
So after the closing prayer,
I reached over and shook his hand.

He was old and his skin wa s dark,
And his hair was truly a mess
But I thanked him for coming,
For being our guest.

He said, "My names' Charlie,
I'm glad to meet you, my friend."
There were tears in his eyes
But he had a large, wide grin

Let me explain," he said
Wiping tears from his eyes.
I've been coming here for months,
And you're the first to say 'Hi.'"

I know that my appearance
Is not like all the rest,
But I really do try
To always look my best."

I always clean and polish my shoes
Before my very long walk
But by the time I get here,
They're dirty and dusty, like chalk."

My heart filled with pain and
I swallowed to hide my tears
As he continued to apologize
For daring to sit so near.

He said, "When I get here,
I know I must look a sight.
But I thought if I could touch you,
Then maybe our souls might unite."

I was silent for a moment
Knowing whatever was said
Would pale in comparison.
I spoke from my heart, not my head

Oh, you've touched me," I said,
And taught me, in part,
That the best of any man
Is what is found in his heart."

The rest, I thought,
This shoe man will never know. .
Like just how thankful I really am
That his dirty old shoe touched my soul...

You might be best friends one year,
pretty good friends the next year,
don't talk that often the next year,
don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say,
even if I never talk to you again in my life,
you are special to me and
you have made a difference in my life.

Someday you might feel like you have no friends at all.
Just remember this blog and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will.
May you always have LOVE to share, HEALTH to spare and FRIENDS that care.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Spanish Computer

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

A student asked, ''What gender is 'computer'?''

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ''computer'' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the feminine gender (''la computer''), because:

  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
  2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
  3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
  4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself pending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(No chuckling... this gets better!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (''el computer''), because:

  1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
  2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
  3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
  4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

i think he has a point

THE ONLY HOPE FOR THE PHILIPPINES
by Father James Reuter, S.J.

By her own admission, GMA rightfully assessed that "over the last decades,our republic has become one of the weakest, steadily left behind by its more progressive neighbors." Forty years ago, we were only second to Japan in economic stature, and way ahead of Singapore, Hongkong, Malaysia, and Thailand.

Today, at our present growth rate, it will take us 30 years to get to where Thailand is today.
  1. A population of 160 Million;
  2. Of those, 70 to 90 million (equivalent to our current population) will live below the poverty line;
  3. Our national debt is estimated to be at US$200B (compared to US$28B when Marcos fled, and US$53B today);
  4. We will be competing, not against Thailand or even Vietnam, but against Bangladesh;
  5. We will be the most corrupt nation in Asia, if not in the world (we're already ranked 11th most corrupt nation by Transparency International).

The signs are clear. Our nation is headed towards an irreversible path of economic decline and moral decadence. It is not for lack of effort. We've seen many men and women of integrity in and out of government, NGOs, church groups & people's organization devote themselves to the task of nation-building, often times against insurmountable odds. But not even two people's revolutions, bloodless as they may be, have made a dent in reversing this trend. At best, we have moved one step forward, but three steps backward.

We need a force far greater than our collective efforts, as a people, can ever hope to muster. It is
time to move the battle to the spiritual realm. It's time to claim GOD's promise of healing of the land for His people.

It's time to gather GOD's people on its knees to pray for the economic recovery and moral reformation of our nation. Is prayer really the answer? Before you dismiss this as just another rambling of a religious fanatic, I'd like you to consider some lessons we can glean from history. England's ascendancy to world power was preceded by the Reformation, a spiritual
revival fuelled by intense prayers. The early American settlers built the foundation that would make it the most powerful nation today - a strong faith in GOD and a disciplined prayer life. Throughout its history, and especially at its major turning points, waves of revival and prayer movement swept across the land.

In recent times, we see Korea as a nation experiencing revival and in the process producing the largest Christian church in the world today, led by Rev. Paul Yongi Cho. No wonder it has emerged as a strong nation when other economies around it are faltering. Even from a purely secular viewpoint, it makes a lot of sense. For here there is genuine humbling and seeking
of GOD through prayer, moral reformation necessarilyfollows.

And this, in turn, will lead to general prosperity.

YES, we believe prayer can make a difference. It's our only hope.

We have tried people power twice; in both cases, it fell short. Maybe it's time to try prayer power. GOD never fails. Is there hope? YES! We can rely on GOD's promise, but we have to do our part. If we humble ourselves and pray as a people, GOD will heal our land. By GOD's grace, we may yet see a better future for our children.

GOD bless and GOD save our country!

"If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven, and will forgive their sins, and will heal their land." (2 Chronicles 7:14)

Friday, July 08, 2005

Thursday, July 07, 2005

nakakainip!

pagkatapos ng mahabang oras ng trabaho sa harap ng kompyuter, heto ako, naghahanap ng mapaglilibangan. (sa kompyuter pa rin. putcha naman kaseng cable e. pinutulan ba naman kami). di ko tuloy mapanooran yung binili naming malaking TV.

kaya heto, kundi sa MSN Games e sa Yahoo! Games ako nagbababad. nakakaaliw din naman, kaya lang walang masyadong variation. nakakatuwa sa MSN Games, merong mga badge na iniaaward sayo depende sa galing mo. he he! andami ko nang badges. pero marami pa ring mas magaling. kakainis!

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Installing a Software Called LOVE

Tech Support : Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer : Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support : Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer : Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support : The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer : Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support : What programs are running?
Customer : Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge
and Resentment running right now.


Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off, please?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely
gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.
Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying
themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in
turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.