Monday, August 29, 2005

UNFOLD THE ROSE

A young, new preacher was walking with an older, more seasoned preacher in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what God had for him to do, he was asking the older preacher for some advice. The older preacher walked up to a rose bush and handed the young preacher a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing any of the petals. The young preacher looked in disbelief at the older preacher and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of God for his life and ministry. But, because of his great respect for the older preacher, he proceeded to try and unfold the rosebud while keeping every petal intact. It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do. Noticing the young preacher's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older preacher began to recite the following poem:


It is only a tiny rosebud
A flower of God's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
GOD opens this flower so sweetly,
Then, in my hands, they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
The flower of God's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?

So, I'll trust in Him for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Him for His guidance
Each step of the Pilgrim's way

The pathway that lies before me
Only my Heavenly Father knows.
I'll trust him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them. Send this message to the people you will never forget, and remember to send it also to the person who sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in too much of a hurry. Take the time to LIVE! Distance and time may separate us, but friendship and memories won't.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Through a Rapist's Eyes

This is important information for females of ALL ages.

Guys - please forward to the female members of your family and all your female friends and associates. When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. Well, I guess it would be better to put it in a blog for others to see.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
  1. The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
  2. The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
  3. They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
  4. Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.
  5. The Number One place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number Two is office parking lots/garages. Number Three is public restrooms.
  6. The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
  7. Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
  8. If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming
  9. These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
  10. Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.
  11. If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
  12. If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER spray and holding it out will be a deterrent.
  13. If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches.Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.
  14. After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
  15. When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
  16. Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!! You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble

PLEASE READ THEN TELL YOUR LADY FRIENDS. IT'S SIMPLE STUFF BUT IT COULD SAVE HER LIFE.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Regular Expression

A few notes for my regex needs.
==========================================
^ Start of String
$ End of string
\ Escape the next character; interpret it literally
n* Zero or more of 'n'
n+ One or more of 'n'
n? A possible 'n'
n{2} Exactly two of 'n'
n{2,} At least 2 or more of 'n'
n{2,4} From 2 to 4 of 'n'
() Parenthesis to group substrings
(na) Either 'n' or 'a'
. Any single character
[1-6] A number between 1 and 6
[c-h] A lower case character between c and h
[D-M] An upper case character between D and M
[^a-z] Absence of lower case a to z
[_a-zA-Z] An underscore or any letter of the alpha

Monday, August 15, 2005

Creepy Lincoln-Kennedy HISTORY

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was bornin 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was bornin 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat !

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was inMonroe,Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ranto a theater.

Creepy, huh? Tell this to as many people as you can, because:

Hey, this is one history lesson people don't mind reading!!!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

COW Economics

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS. You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.You retire on the income.

CHINESE ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

INDIAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows.You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS. You don't have any cows.You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.You ask the US for financial aid, China for militaryaid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines,Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japanfor equipment.You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.

AMERICAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce themilk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind. You wage war to save the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS. You have two cows. They are both mad.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS. You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth thesize of an ordinary cow and produce twenty timesthe milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called COWKIMON and market them worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle ofvodka.

MALAYSIAN ECONOMICS. You have two cows. You slaughter one for Hari Raya Puasa and theother for Hari Raya Haji. Just before that, both the cows were wandering along the PLUS Highways.

PHILIPPINE ECONOMICS. You have only one cow. So the government claims there is a shortage ofcows. The government ask grants from other countries sothe country can produce more cows. The other countries oblige. The government divides the grants amongthemselves, and blames the opposition of corruption. The people stage People Power 42. The government is overthrown. Then its back to the single cow.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

10 Things He's Afraid to Hear You Say

There are certain things a man never wants to hear from his lady. "Let's go shopping" is one of them, as those words usually herald a whole afternoon wasted near the women's fitting rooms. "You're acting like your father" is another, much harsher statement. Even worse, "You're acting like my father"; that one just hurts. Below, however, are the most fearsome, most harrowing combinations of words a female can utter.

  1. I've been thinking...
  2. Be a man.
    Nothing is quite as injurious as having your very manhood questioned. You could give in to her shame tactics and do what she wants, or deflect it by saying, "How about you be a woman and quit nagging?"
  3. My parents want to meet you.
    This means two things:
    The relationship has crossed an important milestone of seriousness.
    You're about to be psychologically cavity-searched under the family microscope.All you can do is hope her father doesn't mention that he has some rusty wire cutters he wants to put to use.
  4. I have a headache.
    That means no action for you tonight, buddy. But you can beat her to it. If you sense she's particularly tired when you're horny, give her an unsolicited aspirin and hope for the best.
  5. That's not the way my ex did it.
    You never talk about your ex in front of her. So you obviously weren't prepared for this. Now you're being measured against the man she dumped. Ouch. Defend yourself, quickly.
  6. What are you thinking about?
    Women are curious. They need to know your every thought, feeling, hunch and inkling. Men, on the other hand, don't like to discuss and explore everything; we're content to keep quiet.
  7. Do you find her pretty?
    She already caught you looking at that mind-blowing blonde that walked by, no matter how covert your glance. So if you say "no," she'll know you're lying and an argument will ensue. This is the time for very artful tact, such as, "Kind of, her ass is huge." Now pray.
  8. We need to talk.
    What everyone should know about these words is that no good news ever follows. These four ominous words signal a problem with the relationship. Expect a breakup, or at the very least a long talk about how you're not meeting her needs. Either way, it's not pleasant. And there is little you can do to avoid it. And though this one is a real bruiser, nothing is quite as caustic, as savage, as utterly cataclysmic as, "Do you think I'm fat?" You're on your own.
  9. My friend is pregnant/engaged.
    This seems harmless enough, until you catch that thinly veiled hint of disappointment in her voice. At this point, you know she really means, "When will we be engaged/pregnant?" Be prepared with an expert diversion at this point, such as faking a seizure. Unfortunately, nothing will help you when she comes at you with the even more chilling, "I'm pregnant." Good luck, buddy.
  10. Do you notice anything different about me?
    You know you're in trouble if you don't. And the longer you take to answer, the more frustrated she'll become, which makes you more frantic. And when you finally bellow, "Oh, you got a new haircut!" she storms out, throwing her new earrings on the floor.