Thursday, October 20, 2005

Corporate Lessons

  • Corporate Lesson #1
  • A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
    When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
    "It was Bob the next door neighbor", she replies.
    "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

    Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

  • Corporate Lesson #2

  • A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

    The priest nearly had an accident.

    After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

    The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.

    But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized, "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

    Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

    It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

    Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

  • Corporate Lesson #3

  • A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

    They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

    "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

    "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

    "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

    Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

  • Corporate Lesson #4

  • A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

    A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

    The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

  • Corporate Lesson #5

  • A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

    "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

    The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

    Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

    Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

    Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

God's Cake

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?"


Here is a wonderful explanation!


A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing Algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.


Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."


Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.


"Yuck!", says her daughter.


"How about a couple raw eggs?"


"Gross, Mom!"


"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"


"Mom, those are all yucky!"


To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!”


God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times.

But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good!

We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!


God is crazy about you.


He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.

He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.


I hope your day is a "piece of cake!"

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!


Tuesday, October 18, 2005

A Beautiful Song. A Sad Story

Kenny Rogers
42 Ultimate Hits CD1 Track #7

In a bar in toledo across from the depot
On a barstool she took off her ring
I thought I’d get closer, so I walked on over
I sat down and asked her name

When the drink finally hit her, she said I’m no quitter
But I finally quit living on dreams
I’m hungry for laughter, and here ever after
I’m after whatever the other life brings

In the mirror I saw him, and I closely watch him
I thought how he looked out of place
He came to the womanWho sat there beside me
He had a strange look on his face
The big hands are calloused, he looked like a mountain
For a minute I thought I was dead

But he started shaking, his big heart was breaking
He turned to the woman and said:

"You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille
Four hungry children and a crop in the field
I’ve had some bad time, Live thru’ some sad times
But this time your hurtin wouldn’t heal
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille."

After he left us, I ordered more whiskey
I thought how she made him look small
From lights of the bar room to a rented hotel room
We walked without talking at all

She was a beauty, but when she came to me
She must have thought I lost my mind
I couldn’t hold her, the words that he told her
Kept coming back time after time.

"You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille
Four hungry children and a crop in the field
I’ve had some bad time, Live thru’ some sad times
But this time your hurtin' wouldn’t heal.
You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille

You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille
Four hungry children and a crop in the field
I’ve had some bad time, Live thru’ some sad times
But this time your hurtin wouldn’t heal.
You picked the fine time to leave me, Lucille"

Friday, October 14, 2005

narraSofties Latest Picture

yeah. its been a while since we last did this. :-) look, we've added new people!

front: michael, me
sitting: alwin and exe
standing: lia, oliver, jhen, gerros, lyrio, maynard

if i may add: it is jhen's birthday today.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Do GOD Exist?

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about so many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they touched the subject of God. The barber said :

"Look man, I don't believe that God exists as you say so."

"Why do you say that?" Asked the client.

"Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Oh, tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain. I can't think of a God who permits all of these things."

The client stopped for a moment thinking but he didn't want to respond so as to prevent an argument.

The barber finished his job and the client went out of the shop. Just after he left the barber shop he saw a man in the street with a long hair and beard (it seems that it had been a long time since he had his cut and he looked so untidy). Then the client again entered the barber shop and he said to the barber:

"Know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How come they don't exist?" asked the barber.

"Well I am here and I am a barber."

"Noo!" the client exclaimed. "They don't exist because if they did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who walks in the street."

"Ah, barbers do exist, what happens is that people do not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the client. "That's the point. God does exist, what happens is people don't go to Him and do not look for Him that's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Parable Of The Spoons (A Beautiful Story)

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."  The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "
You have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "
I don't understand."

It is simple" said the Lord, "it requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. While the greedy think only of themselves.”

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

BSICS Batch 1997

Sa mga kaklase ko sa Lyceum of Batangas sa BSICS noong 1997, kumusta na kayo? Kung makikita nyo itong post na ito, kontakin nyo naman ako. Tara magplano ng reunion. O kung may alam kayong reunion, isama nyo naman ako. :-)