Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Troutman the Wise Man

Troutman's Laws of Computer Programming
  • Any running program is obsolete.
  • Any planned program costs more and takes longer.
  • Any useful program will have to be changed.
  • Any useless program will have to be documented.
  • Any program will expand to fill available memory and beyond.
  • The size of a program expands to fill all available memory.
  • The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.
  • The complexity of a program grows until it exceeds the capability of its maintainers.
  • Any system that relies on computer reliability is unreliable.
  • Any system that relies on human reliability is unreliable.
  • Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.
  • Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.

Troutman's Programming Postulates

  • If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction.
  • Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will the most harmful error be discovered.
  • Job control cards that positively cannot be arranged in proper order will be. Interchangeable tapes won't.
  • If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.

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