Monday, January 07, 2008

20 Years of Headache

The doctor said, "John, the good news is I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." John was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, That's what I need - a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like anew suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long." 
John laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" 
John tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As John admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
John thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed John and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck."
John was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!" 
John tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.
As John adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about newshoes?"
John was on a roll and said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed John's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E."
John was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "
Been in the business 60 years!"
John tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
John walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,"How about some new underwear? "
John thought for a second and said, "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed John's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36."
John laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear wouldpress your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

No comments: