Monday, January 07, 2008

New Word Definitions

  • Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
  • Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
  • Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
  • Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  • Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest Piece.
  • Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
  • Dictionary : A the only place where success comes before work.    
  • Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
  • Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
  • Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  • Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  • Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
  • Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  • Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
  • Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.     
  • Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
  • Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
  • Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
  • Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
  • Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway,"See I am not injured yet."
  • Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
  • Father : A banker provided by nature.
  • Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
  • Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
  • Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
  • Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

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