Symbol : WO
Accepted at 36-28-36, though isotopes ranging from 25-10-20 to 60-55-60 have been identified.
- Found wherever man is, but seldom in the highly reactive, energetic singlet state.
- Surplus quantities found in all urban areas.
- Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) at absolutely nothing, and freezes at a moments notice.
- Totally unpredictable.
- Melts when properly treated, very bitter if not well used.
- Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
- Non-magnetic, but can be attracted by coins and sport cars.
- In its natural shape the specimen varies considerably, but it is often changed artificially so well that the change is indiscernible except to the experienced eye.
- Has a great affinity for AU, AG, and C (in the crystalline form.)
- May give violent reaction if left alone.
- Will absorb great amounts of food matter.
- Highly desired reaction is initiated with various reagents (such as C(2)-H(5)-OH and sexy aftershave lotions.)
- An essential catalyst is often required (must say you love her at least five times daily).
- Reaction accelerates out of control when in the dark and all reaction conditions are suitable.
- Extremely difficult to react if in the highly stable pure form. Yields to pressure applied to correct points. The reaction is highly exothermic.
- Best results are obtained between the ages of 18 and 28 years.
- A short time after this, specimens begin to deteriorate, sometimes rapidly.
- Highly ornamental.
- Used as a tonic for low spirits.
- Used on lonely nights as a heating agent (if properly prepared).
- May be trained to cook food, although great care must be exercised.
- Pure specimens turn rosy tint if discovered in raw, natural state.
- Turns green if placed besides a better specimen.
- Turns blue if proper reaction conditions are not met. Often shows signs of illogical behavior patterns.
- Most powerful reducing agent known to man (income and ego).
- Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
- Specimen must be used with great care if experiments are to succeed.
- Some of this species have been known to cause confused thinking and varying levels of insanity.
Note: It is illegal to possess more than one permanent specimen, however, a certain amount of exchange is permitted.
Original text came from a page in textfiles.com.